part time soulmate, full time problem

anarcho-skamunist:

thatone-highlighter:
angrymurderchild:
anarcho-skamunist:
*baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws*
Reblog to bap the person you reblogged from with your paws
This post is funny because every day for the past year I get at least a few back and forth tag chains in my notifs that are people roleplaying elaborate paw based battles and you can tell that 90 percent of the time it is thinly veiled flirting.

(Via rippedcatboy Source: anarcho-skamunist) 211,954 notes | 2 months ago

whatthehellisgoingon9374-deacti:

Legitimately severely critically underrated

(Via jinxstinx Source: whatthehellisgoingon9374-deacti) 61,503 notes | 3 months ago

shencomix:

(Via nightmare-kisser Source: shencomix) 20,970 notes | 4 months ago

hofessorx:

opalescentboy-deactivated202106:
Is he… you know… ???
The little gay run I do across the street that makes driver’s wanna hit me

(Via jinxstinx Source: opalescentboy-deactivated202106) 85,917 notes | 4 months ago

catmask:

‘you wouldn’t pirate a-’ i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

(Via jinxstinx Source: catmask) 146,049 notes | 4 months ago

allcrush:

(Via jinxstinx Source: allcrush) 12,855 notes | 4 months ago

wizardpostsdotorg:

fuck my gay wizard life i’m so used to talking out my ass like a nobleman that at the doctors today i said “is it within your power to prescribe me something like that?” and she LAUGHED AT ME “i like the way you phrased that, yes it’s within my power”

(Via jinxstinx Source: wizardpostsdotorg) 41,662 notes | 4 months ago

amultitudeofsins:

illithidjamison:
amultitudeofsins:
If your tummy itches when you wear jeans, you have a nickel allergy and should paint the back of the buttion with nail polish. Okay I am going into the woods forever now. I love you.
WHAT
Sensitivity to nickel is extremely common amd despite this, clothing manufacturers often use it because it is cheap. A coat or two of nail polish is an effective barrier between the allergen and your skin. Goodbye forever. Do not forget my wisdom

(Via maplehazelnut Source: amultitudeofsins) 37,196 notes | 4 months ago

librarycards:

Windows XP Handbag

(Via jinxstinx Source: librarycards) 11,507 notes | 4 months ago

prohaloplayer:

we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors

(Via maplehazelnut Source: prohaloplayer) 59,907 notes | 4 months ago

phatburd:

He tried to hide behind the ginger ale can like this for about three minutes.

(Via maplehazelnut Source: phatburd) 144 notes | 4 months ago

lamaenthel:

baejax-the-great:
Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn’t dream up if we tried

(Via maplehazelnut Source: baejax-the-great) 67,416 notes | 4 months ago

kaneofnod:

sistercara:
ballofstress9:
Do computers get heavier when you download stuff onto them?
yeh it goes right to their computer tits and thighs

(Via maplehazelnut Source: ballofstress9) 21,173 notes | 4 months ago

evvergreen:

johnnycrass:
faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid
this is why you think fairies aren’t real btw. they know you want to do that

(Via joshpeck Source: johnnycrass) 87,900 notes | 4 months ago

spyglassrealms:

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the “block” function with the far funnier “glock” function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you’d go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

(Via jalattes Source: spyglassrealms) 191,950 notes | 4 months ago